Abbot and Cold Jello

Abbott is speaking to his smartphone's artificial intelligence, unSiri:

ABBOTT: “unSiri, Who is The One?”

CJ as unSiri: “Yes”

ABBOTT: Shakes his head and restarts his phone. “The question I am asking is this: ‘Who is the one?’”

CJ as unSiri: “The answer you are getting is this: ‘yes’.”

ABBOTT: “No, that is an inadequate response. What I’m asking is… when we speak of that being we refer to as The One; capital T, capital O—The One.” Who is that?

CJ as unSiri: “Apologies for inadequacies. However, the answer you require is, ‘yes’, all lower case.”

ABBOTT: “Ok, ok let’s try this another way.” Speaking slowly into his phone: “What am I looking for?”

CJ as unSiri: “You are looking for what.”

ABBOTT: “Correct. That’s the question.”

CJ as unSiri: “That is the answer.”

ABBOTT: “What is the answer?”

CJ as unSiri: “Precisely.”

ABBOTT: “No, no you are misunderstanding me. What I want to know is this—I am looking, searching, longing for what?”

CJ as unSiri: “Sorry for misunderstanding. I now can answer definitively, yes.”

ABBOTT: “Yes, what?”

CJ as unSiri: “Precisely.”

ABBOTT: Switching his smartphone back to Candy Crush: “Should call the damn thing artificial stupidity!