Interpersonal Skills
Acceptance: Embracing differences and accepting others for who they are.
Boundaries: Understanding personal limits and respecting the boundaries of others.
Communication: Being able to express oneself clearly and actively listen to others.
Conflict resolution: Addressing disagreements constructively, finding mutually beneficial solutions.
Empathy: Understanding and sharing the feelings of others.
Empowerment: Supporting the growth and development of others.
Equality: Valuing each other as equals and respecting each other's perspectives and needs.
Flexibility: Being open to compromise and adaptable to change.
Forgiveness: Foster healing and reconciliation by abandoning resentment and grudges
Gratitude: Appreciating the efforts and contributions of others.
Humor: Sharing laughter and finding joy together.
Kindness: Being compassionate, helpful, and considerate towards others.
Listening: Listening openly, without filters or judgements about what is being said.
Patience: Ability to remain calm and understanding in difficult situations.
Respect: Treating others with consideration, dignity, and recognition of their worth.
Self-awareness: Understanding one's own emotions, triggers, and patterns of behavior.
Sincerity: Expressing only what one truly feels, thinks or believes.
Trustworthiness: Being reliable, honest, and dependable in actions and words.
The Sufis of old valued adab in all aspects of life. The article below offers practical advice on sufi gatherings especially at mealtimes. But you'll have to read between the lines to get what these "old school" teachers were actually pointing too.
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Beloved Community
Living Sufism in 2021 focused on "the gathering" of all life and our relatedness within that web of existence. The following video of Pir Elias reading his essay, "Beloved Community" introduced that series
A History of Gatherings
The history of human organizations is a rich tapestry woven through the fabric of civilization. Pretty much everything around us, apart from the natural world came into existence through gatherings of one sort or another. From early tribal structures to sophisticated multinational corporations, the evolution of how we've come together to accomplish, sometimes amazing, things reflects the development of societies, economies, and cultures over millennia. Here's a brief overview:
Tribal Societies (Prehistoric Era to 3000 BCE): In prehistoric times, humans lived in small, nomadic groups focused on hunting and gathering. These early societies were organized around kinship ties and had simple leadership structures, often with elders or shamans guiding decision-making.
Ancient Civilizations (3000 BCE to 500 CE): The emergence of complex agricultural societies led to the development of the first civilizations in Mesopotamia, Egypt, the Indus Valley, and China. These civilizations featured centralized governments, bureaucratic administrations, and organized religions. They created institutions such as temples, palaces, and city-states to manage resources and coordinate activities.
Classical Empires (500 BCE to 500 CE): The Classical period saw the rise of mighty empires like Greece, Rome, Persia, and Han China. These empires expanded trade networks, established legal systems, and built monumental infrastructure. They relied on hierarchical structures with rulers at the top, supported by nobles, bureaucrats, and military officers.
Feudal Societies (500 CE to 1500 CE): With the decline of centralized empires, Europe experienced the feudal system characterized by decentralized power, where local lords held authority over land and peasants. Feudalism was based on personal relationships and obligations, with hierarchical structures ranging from kings and nobles to serfs and peasants.
Rise of Nation-States (1500 CE to 1800 CE): The Renaissance and Enlightenment periods spurred intellectual and technological advancements, leading to the rise of nation-states in Europe. Centralized governments asserted control over territories, fostering nationalism and bureaucratic institutions. The Treaty of Westphalia (1648) marked the beginning of the modern state system.
Industrial Revolution (18th to 19th centuries): The Industrial Revolution transformed societies with the mechanization of production, urbanization, and the rise of capitalism. Industrialization spurred the creation of factories, corporations, and labor unions, reshaping economic and social structures.
Modern Organizations (20th century to present): The 20th century witnessed the proliferation of modern organizations, including multinational corporations, non-profit organizations, and governmental agencies. Technological advancements, globalization, and the rise of information economies have reshaped organizational structures, communication, and management practices.
Throughout history, human gatherings have adapted to changing environments, technologies, and social norms. They continue to play a pivotal role in shaping human endeavors, from governance and commerce to culture and innovation.
~ChatGPT
The Gathering of Sama
4 Stages of Entering a Gathering
And Adab? Life offers up to us the answers we are seeking and it is Adab that is the touchstone that enlightens and enlivens this search. Adab is the touchstone that enlightens and enlivens our search.
One of the wonders, the mysteries of Adab, is that while we may seek it out in any given situation, within any relationship, it is, in truth, here enveloping us in its warmth of recognition all the time.
How may we know this, hold it…how may we remember and recall our awareness of its presence during the ever-distracting busyness of life?
Here is a suggestion for a simple process which may serve to cultivate our Remembrance.
It begins with our arrival:
1. I Arrive
Now I am always arriving somewhere, at some time. Here, right now. The freshness I bring opens me to the awareness of the moment.
2. I Settle
Now I breathe. I allow the relaxation my breath offers to ease into my arrival. I settle into my awareness.
3. I Attend
Now in this state of alert relaxation, I am attending, I am paying attention, I am present.
4. I Engage
Now in this present awareness, I am able to be; I am able to do what is asked, what is needed. Such is the promise of this presence.
Chilla
1. Observe, an everyday form of a gathering , small or large, that happens in your life -, maybe mealtimes or conversations, games, work, shopping , walks – anything - with family, friends or work colleagues.
2. Watch for when your gathering feels in harmony, tuned into a flow of energy together, and watch for when your gathering changes into a group of distinct individuals who express differences in character or opinion.
3. Then see if you can identify what happened in the group to change the energy from harmonious to differentiated , back to harmonious and so on – what were the moments in the group that led to alterations in your experience of how harmonious or differentiated it felt to you ?
