Feb 6 — The Mistaken Separation
Recording of the Feb 6 Living Sufism session on Mistaken Separation
Navigating Identity Issues
There are times in life when we become triggered. Depending on the issue at hand, and the stage we are in while dealing with the issues (e.g. fresh wounding or an old wound triggered again) we may react in different ways. In the case of what feels like a new wound, we will often feel it primarily in our physical and emotional bodies. In that case, I advise time spent with Elias’ “One Rule” practice. Later, when the immediate pain has been quelled, we may be interested in exploring more deeply the connection of our reaction to our ideas of identity. Similarly, when an old wound gets triggered, the painful period may be shorter and milder because of its familiarity. There again we may benefit most from examining that connection between what triggers us and our closely held belief structures (fixations). In these cases, I use the set of self-inquiry questions and/or the visualization given below:
Self-Inquiry Questions
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What part of my identity/beliefs about myself is being challenged right now?
Once this question has a satisfactory answer, either go on to the rest of the inquiry questions, or skip down to the visualization.
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What causes me to resist that?
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What am I afraid of?
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What will I lose?
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Who am I without the things I would lose? (Is the truth of who I am substantially changed?)
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What if I let go of those things? (“Try on” letting go of them and note carefully any subtle reactions in the physical body)
A visualization
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See the fixation you are holding on to as the frame of an entire house. Visualize yourself as “efforting” very hard to hold the house up by keeping erect the vertical board in one corner. If you can only keep that one board erect, the framework will hold. Recognize the energy that is being required of you to keep your beliefs/your fixation/your identity intact.
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Ask yourself, “Could I let that go?”
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Then, “What would it feel like to stop holding that up, to just let it fall down around my feet?”
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If/when you are ready, give it a try: Envision yourself stopping your efforting by dropping your hands to your sides, stepping back and letting the house/fixation teeter and fall to pieces before you, thus irreparably smashing that particular fixation
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Now check in with your body. How does your body feel as a result of that exercise?
Separation in Sufi Psychology
A basic hypothesis of Sufi Psychology is that nafs—the self-centered construct that typically governs our lives—is inherently a ‘mistaken separation’. The controlling power of the ego is based on the fallacy that I am a separate being whose priorities must be protected and promoted at all costs. This error increasingly drives us to seek happiness where it cannot be found, to pursue gratifications that are, at best, meaningless, at worst, soul-enslaving, and to prize things that invariably evaporate, leaving behind only a “hungry ghost” hunting the next dopamine hit. READ MORE
By Puran Lucas Perez
Thich Nhat Hanh
What is your Story?
From The Diamond in your Pocket by Gangaji
Normally, you wake up in the morning and pick up the story of who you are. You may do some meditation practice, but the real practice is the ongoing story of who you are. The energy and the emotion that the story generates gives birth to infinite permutations of frustration, delight, pain, or pleasure, all revolving around this practice of the story of “me.”
Telling the personal story is the primary religion of most people on the planet. The personal story gets located in a body, a tribe, a nation, a religion, an “us.” This is why the planet is constantly at war, and why you may be constantly at war with yourself. If you can recognize what your story is, then the story is conscious rather than unconscious. You can see what the story is, and you can choose to stop following it as if it were reality.
The possibility is to recognize that all our stories, however complex and multi-layered, however deeply implanted in our genetic structure, are only stories. The truth of who you are is not a story. The vastness and the closeness of that truth precedes all stories. When you overlook the truth of who you are in allegiance to some story, you miss a precious opportunity for self-recognition.
As a means of exposing your own particular story, you can ask yourself honestly and directly: What is my story? Exposing the story is not for the purpose of getting rid of it or following it. The purpose is to see what stories you are telling about who you think you are, or who you think you should be.
Whatever your answers may be, can you entertain the possibility that it is all just a story? It is not right, it is not wrong, it is not real. Experience the possibility of unreality. Drop your consciousness back into the space where there is no story, where there is no thought. If a thought arises, see that it is just passing through. It is neither right nor wrong. It is just a thought, having nothing to do with the essential truth of who you are.
THANKS FOR NOTHING, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING (Extract)
by Michael Steward
The word, ‘request’, denotes a quest, with all the testing trials and sweet ecstasies this entails. And here we are, in what Joy Harjo calls our ‘falling down selves’, stumbling and stalling as, truly, we fear most what we desire most, its whole weave of implications. Its insistence we release all else. It turns out that the ‘meantime’, our suspension in that no-man’s-land of ‘betwixt-and-between’ time, is not the Mother being mean to us, but weaning us. She bids us pause on the threshold of Her brave new world to ensure we divest ourselves completely of what no longer serves us, what weighs us down; and to re-wire the circuits in our ‘body electric’ to hold the charge, the searing voltage, of Her love.
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Already
Am I already here
Before I see and taste and feel?
If not, how could I see and taste and feel?
How can I know if I’m already here or not?
If I were here without them,
They could be here without me.
I reveal them and they reveal me.
How can I be here without them?
How can they be here without me?
I am not already here
Before experience as such:
Seeing revels just the seer,
Tasting just the taster,
Feeling just the feeler.
If I’m not already here before them all,
Could I be here before each one?
Can the seer taste?
Can the taster feel?
Were they different,
I would be legion.
Nor am I tucked inside the elements
Whence seeing and tasting and feeling unfold.
If I to whom these things belong
Cannot be found,
How can they be found?
I do not precede them.
Nor am I with them.
Nor do I follow them.
Let go of “I am.”
Let go of “I am not”.
Stephen Batchelor
Verses From The Center
A vision of Nagarjuna’s Teachings
CONNECTIONS
New connections
Ever more.
Willing souls
Everywhere.
Online meeting world,
Zooming to chatrooms,
Share equally,
Singing faces.
Virus-mandated
Physical isolation.
Spirit-fueled
Social connection.
Routines disrupted,
Busy-work erased.
Go inside,
Connect with Self.
Seek the essence
Deeper than ever.
A new spurt
In awareness.
Play a musical instrument,
Contemplate, meditate,
Write, paint, play,
Walk spring steps.
Rethink our ways.
Nothing impossible!
Live for each other
And our own self.
Physical distance
Matters little,
Immersing ourselves
In new connections.
A caring world,
The new normal,
One human family.
Real c-o-n-n-e-c-t-i-o-n-s.
Leslie Gabriel Mezei,
May 7, 202
“The heart has been given its own ears, to hear things
the mind does not understand.”
Jalal ad-Din Rumi
“All the various faces and endless forms of human beings belong to one Spirit, and are the manifestations of that one Spirit.”
Pir-O-Murshid Hazrat Inayat Khan
“We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
“Recognizing our unity frees us from situating ourselves in any position.”
Pir Elias Amidon
“Invisible connection is stronger than visible.”
Heraclitus
Exercise on Grounding/Creating a Touchstone
Welcome to ‘Being Here Now’
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What is ‘Here Now’? It’s really about embodiment because our body is the present, right here and nowhere else, with breath our friend, our vital life source. In our spiritual endeavours we can often overlook the significance of our body, along with physical processes, so it becomes the missing piece in our quest for integration and wholeness. Shifting our perspective, we appreciate how much our body gives us, rooting us in nature whose vast intelligence is the portal through which we can access deeper consciousness. The powerful immediacy and totality of ‘Being Here Now’, the ground of our being, is about being grounded in our body.
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I am inviting you to participate in an exercise to connect with the place in your body where you feel most at home and grounded – we can call this our ‘chill’ spot, safe space, being centred, the ‘alive and well’ place of rootedness.
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Before we begin, take a moment to get settled and comfortable. I would recommend doing this exercise with your eyes closed to enhance concentration – if you’d rather not, I suggest softening your gaze to enable you to be with your body without distractions.
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Waking up the body: Let’s start by waking up the body, infusing it with deep breaths: let the air fill the base of your lungs, then take your breath further into your abdominal and pelvic area allowing the air swirl around as if you’re bathing this space- check your shoulders are relaxed, your chest soft. Some call this ‘360 degrees breathing’ because you are filling both front and back with your breath. Lower abdominal breathing also helps strengthen mind-body connection. Do this about five times, each time taking your breath further down through your torso, your limbs, right down to your extremities. Pause…Now let your breath find its natural rhythm being aware of the rise and fall of your ribcage and stomach with each breath. Breathing in nourishes and energizes you, breathing out dissolve tensions and softens any discomfort. You and your body in relationship, as one….
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Awareness through the senses: With your body awake, let’s tune in to the senses…starting with skin, this permeable border between inside and outside; consider for a moment how it encases and protects all that is inside you - internal organs, blood moving through arteries and veins, an outer sheath for muscles and tendons and skeletal structure. Can you be inside your skin and feel it breathing? Notice the feel of your garments on your skin, how the air meets the hairs on your arms – what’s the sensation when you run your fingers over your skin right now, how does it respond to your touch? Perhaps you can recall that feeling of skin to skin with another. Skin is constantly renewing – the stories it has held which are now being let go as your skin is shedding.
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Moving to other senses – what about smells? Your own smell, can you bring it into your awareness? (the smell of you that others may smell) Is there a particular smell you detect in the air around you? Can you conjure up an evocative smell from memory – bringing it into here, now? Notice the sensation of taking a particular smell in through your nose and letting it enter into your throat and mouth. How does this affect your sensation of taste? How does it feel to move your tongue around your mouth, touching surfaces, generating saliva? As you swallow how far can you follow the path your saliva takes inside of you?
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Bring your attention now to sounds around you – are they near or far, high pitched or low, intrusive, just right or ambient – are there any sounds setting up a vibration in your body? Let yourself make a sound, such as humming or oohing, allowing yourself to feel the vibrations, experiencing your body as an instrument. Where in your body do you most feel these vibrations? Is this affected by the pitch of your hum (what happens when you take it as low as you can)? What do you notice if you place your hands where your body is vibrating? Your body as a drum, beating heart, vibrating with sound….
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Filling your body with deep breaths, embrace the symphony of these sensations in this moment: the touch on your skin, sounds, taste, smells. You are immersed ‘here now’ in the awareness of all these different senses. Notice what this invokes in you. This is all yours, allow yourself to celebrate being in this fullness, this embodied expansiveness.
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Coming to the grounded place inside of you: Now you are ready to connect with the grounded place inside of you. Soften your breath and bring it back to its natural rhythm. Focusing on your in-breath, let your intention clear the way for you to connect with the place in your body where you feel most grounded and centred. Let your breath guide you there. Nothing is to be forced, let it happen naturally, knowing you are now attuned to your body. There may be an image, a colour associated with this internal place. Notice whatever emerges, while your breath infuses this place and nourishes it.
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If it is not possible for you to locate your centred place directly through intention and breath, think of an image or a place outside that generates this feeling of balance and being grounded – a place of beauty perhaps that you have visited, or an image that represents these qualities. You can use that image or scene and bring it inside taking it to the place in your body which feels most receptive.
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Creating your touchstone: Feeling well connected to this place inside of your body, allow a gesture to emerge so you can anchor this sensation kinaesthetically. For example, touching the place outside your body that corresponds with the inside accompanied by a key word, such as Remember. Let your creativity guide you. What’s important is to have a meaningful way to recall your grounded place whenever you need to. Pause…By creating your touchstone you have made a direct pathway so you can activate or locate at any moment this place and experience being grounded and centred.
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Open your eyes/bring yourself back. This touchstone is personal to you and is at your disposal should you feel stressed or reactive to divisions both internally and externally. What you have embedded in your touchstone allows you to come back into balance, feeling connected and grounded. This is also the place in your body from which you can relate with depth and safety – your own portal. Thank you for participating.
Binah Taylor
2nd January 2022
Love in a Divided World
Chilla
Grounding your Being in Here, Now
Part One:
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First, either listen to the guided meditation I offered during the Living Sufism ‘Love in a Divided World: Entering Here Now’, which was held on 2nd January 2022, or read the transcript, which is posted on the Living Sufism website.
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Secondly, practice this meditation at least twice a day (soon after waking and then early evening) for at least 14 days. Notice over this time how your experience of your senses widens and deepens, as well as how directly you are able to access your ‘touchstone’, which represents the place within you where you are grounded and in balance – your ‘alive and well’ centre of rootedness, the place where you also feel safe.
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During these 14 or more days, become aware in your daily life of how you access this place within you, perhaps using the gesture you chose to anchor this feeling of groundedness. Is your breathing helping you to connect? Are there any other means that you find yourself drawing upon as you are using this process? What are you experiencing holding in mind this embodiment of your being, being grounded as you go about your everyday activities? Is it starting to become a natural ‘go to’ place within your relating? If not, be curious and stay open to self enquiry.
Part Two:
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Without actively seeking it, notice how you react to a situation or an encounter where you feel at odds with a situation or in conflict with another. What strategies do you use to ‘win’ the argument or have your point of view prevail? This may of course occur within the 14 days of practising solidifying being grounded in your body – hopefully you have had some opportunity to prepare grounding your being first!
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When encountering division, how soon are you able to reconnect with this grounded and safe place withing you? Are you able to use your touchstone to connect? What may be the overriding triggers or impulses that drive you into conflict?
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Without judging, notice your process, staying with and watching the emotion(s) triggered in you whilst not merging with it. Notice too, how cultivating awareness may begin the shift to disengage from a divisive position: if so, what is happening in your body to move out of reactivity, including your rhythm of breathing. What else is helping you connect with your grounded place?
Throughout this chilla I suggest keeping a diary to track your experiences and note your reflections, also recording the feelings associated with the state of groundedness along with noting instances of reactivity and triggers. How are you self-soothing? Do you need to modify your touchstone and deepen or ‘relocate’ your inner space of groundedness? Notice too what movements may have emerged to help you come back into balance – these can become part of your ‘touchstone template’.
For Part 1 and 2, suggest you allow for a 28 day period, with the first part focusing your awareness on strengthening grounding, and then the second part to putting it into practice.
You are encouraged to debrief and discuss your experience with another following the chilla.
Binah
7th January 2022
This program is sponsored and presented by The Sufi Way
*You can find the essay, "Beloved Community" by Pir Elias Amidon here
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